In our last blog post in this series, we looked at how important it is to take a step back and ask some probing questions when you want to enhance your feelings of empowerment in your life. If we want to really put ourselves in the driver’s seat of our own lives, however, we need to look at what we want instead of our existing circumstances and that’s something we’ll explore more deeply in today’s blog post.
Our conditioning has taught us to identify and focus on the problem, struggle or challenge at hand and, in fact, most people spend a lot of time focusing on it. They spend a lot of their energy replaying it in their minds and because their struggle or challenge feels uncomfortable, they pay attention to the discomfort. This can evolve into a repetitive pattern of always looking for problems. We are all acquainted with individuals who only see problems in their lives. It is a repetitive loop of worry, self-doubt and concern. Once established, it can be difficult to get off that repetitive loop without some assistance.
Most clients I start working with recognize within their first coaching session that they have a default pattern of focusing on the problems in their life rather than focusing on what they want.
I invite clients to choose to shift their focus away from their problems and onto “what they would like to create instead.” This is like entering a specific destination in to our personal GPS. The GPS pulls us irresistibly to the results and outcomes we seek. We then embark upon a process of consolidating the direction, the first three steps of which are about Awareness, Clarity and Creativity. Let’s take a look at each of these in more detail.
Becoming aware of the problems, challenges or struggles we’re facing is the first step in starting to create change for ourselves. Can you identify the issues that are showing up for you that are making you unhappy? What is the biggest struggle or challenge creating discomfort or conflict and feelings of doubt or worry right now? Write that down. Now, write a number beside it to indicate where that struggle puts you on the Excitement Scale. (0 = you feel terrible, dissatisfied or overwhelmed, 5 = a state of neutrality and 10 = you feel excited or wonderful).
Let’s change our focus for a moment. Now that you know what has been making you unhappy, you want to create a description of what you would like instead. This is important as it starts to teach our mind to refocus on demand and it is the beginning of you starting to control your mind, rather than allowing your mind to control you. This will start to take you out of the worry and self-doubt loop and into a place where you can start directing your thoughts and managing how you think about issues that arise.
What’s more, we know that when we change our thoughts and feelings we also have the ability to change our behaviours, our actions and the results we get. But we must start with choosing our thoughts and changing the way we look at things.
Stay tuned for our third and final post in this series, where we’ll look more deeply at developing clarity in what we want, and then take a creative approach to generating that result.
To learn more about the Dynamic Visioning Six Step Process and tips for manifesting your own success to live a life of your own design, please book a 30 minute phone session with Simone Usselman-Tod, Certified Integrative NLP Practitioner and Coach. Learn more about Dynamic Visioning.