Have you made a commitment to be the best “you”, that you can be? Are you living your best life? Is there room for improvement?
Let’s explore your commitment to “you” also known as your self-esteem. What exactly is self-esteem? Is it simply the confidence in your own worth and abilities? Steven Andreas, a modern-day NLP guru, said in his book Transforming Yourself that self-esteem is what happens when your values and your self-concept are aligned.
In the last couple of weeks, we have examined in this blog post our values and how critical they are to understanding where we fit in the world. They help us to decide what is right and what is wrong, what is appropriate and what is not. Values become the parameters or the context within which we live our lives.
If values give our lives context, then our self-concept becomes the persona we build to fit within that environment. This persona can be predominantly positive or negative, but is most often made up of aspects of each polarity. Our self-concept will give us the confidence in our abilities and skill sets.
Now that we understand the context of our lives and corresponding self-concept, we can move on to self-esteem. Our self-esteem is that piece of our psyche that propels us to action. How far we can go and how successful we become will depend on how we develop this skill.
Research conducted by the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) indicated a clear link between low self-esteem and a poorer quality of life, a pre-disposition to addiction and an increased likelihood of future mental health issues. The National Institutes of Health (NIH) supported this claim and reported that clinically assessed adolescents with high self-esteem suffered fewer symptoms of anxiety and depression.
Are you practising good habits that promote your self-esteem? Here is a 4-step formula that I can share, that will help you to determine where you are on the self-esteem scale of 0-8. If you answer ‘yes’ to (a) give yourself 2 points. If you answer ‘yes’ to (b) give yourself zero points and if your answer is really a mixture of both (a) and (b), take 1 point.
1. Conscious and focused in life.
A)Are you present in your daily life and are you grateful for what you have?
B)Are you struggling to pay attention to detail and do you find you are constantly comparing yourself to others?
2. Being true to your “self.”
A)Do you make decisions based on what you think is right? Do you put your needs first?
B)Do you make decisions based on the feelings and opinions of others? Do you tend to place your needs last?
A)Is your internal dialogue calm and are you able to move forward after making a mistake? Do you tend to focus on your successes and how far you have come?
B)Does your internal dialogue sound angry and frustrated? Do you dwell on all of the things that you didn’t get perfect?
A)Do you believe you made the best decision possible in the circumstances and are you confident in your choice?
B)Do you feel that you were coerced or swayed by another and do you tend to question your decision after it has been made?
These questions measure your responses to some of the elements of self-esteem. Living a life where you: make conscious decisions that are focused on a goal, are true to yourself, accept the things you cannot change and take responsibility, are necessary for you to live a life of action. How were your scores?
Those of you who scored 4 or higher you are rocking it! Those of you under 4 may need a wee refresh! Self-esteem is an action word. Some think of it as a consequence of commitment. Steve Andreas thought it was the product of alignment between our values and our self-concept.
Whatever you may believe, one thing is clear, self-esteem is essential to planning and completion of life goals. We know that self-esteem can be improved and we understand that, like any high-level skill, it must be regularly practised.
If you want to hear more about self-esteem and it’s importance to your mental and emotional health, experience increased success and to live a life of your own design, please call to book a 30 minute phone session with Simone Usselman-Tod, Dynamic Visioning Coach, Certified Life Coach & Business Coach and Certified NLP Master Practitioner. Learn more about Dynamic Visioning.