Our world seems to promote constant stimulation and then more stimulation. It is so easy to rush from one activity to another, to be distracted by the demands of our busy schedules. Even in our free time, we find ourselves thoroughly bombarded by TV, radio, our cell phones and social media. Have you ever found yourself caught up in the never ending list of daily tasks? What about thoughts of the past and worries about the future? Does this happen so frequently that you have neglected to build time into the schedule for you, again?
We are well practiced at focusing outwards. We place the needs of others and their well-being ahead of our own. We tend to treat and speak to our family, our peers and our co-workers far more respectively than we treat ourselves. We do this with the best of intentions because we want to be helpful, loving, and kind. However, when continuously drawing energy from our internal well and giving without end, it is inevitable that we are going to get tired, feel run down, and become irritated.
Many of us feel uncomfortable, even selfish, when it comes to looking after ourselves. However, taking time for ourselves is necessary if we want to achieve extraordinary success in our home, our business and in our life in general. When we nurture ourself, we fill up that proverbial well. We actually expand our ability to be available for others. Is it, after all, impossible to draw water (or energy) from an empty well.
Are you interested in being present and focusing on you? Are you willing to set the intention to support yourself? Have you got one minute to put effort into looking after you? That’s great because the research is clear. When you give yourself the love and support you need, your emotional and physical energy increases. Self-compassion will expand your cognitive capacity and improve your overall wellbeing.
Let’s try a very simple exercise that we call ‘holding space’ to start the process. It’s a small step but it is a step forward. Don’t worry if you find it difficult to focus at first. We all struggle in the beginning. This exercise takes intention, practice and only one minute of your time each day. When you recognize that you have drifted off into your “to do” list, gently bring yourself back to your conscious mind. Come back to being in the moment.
Holding space and being present allows you to get out of that overstimulated “monkey brain.” Now you open the space for that quiet, steady voice inside of you to speak. Give it a try. Set the timer on your phone for one minute. Close your eyes and take a deep breath through your nose. Pause, then release your breath from your mouth. Repeat this process until the timer goes off. When thoughts intrude (and we know they will) simply return your focus to your breath. Allow yourself to to just be. Feel whatever you feel.
The purpose of this exercise is to allow yourself to walk on whatever journey you’re on without judgement, or feelings of inadequacy, that compulsion to fix things, or the need to impact the outcome of a situation. It is a treat to see what comes up, what we have overlooked and what a pleasure it is to connect to simple things. Similarly, when next we hold space for others, we can truly open our hearts, offer unconditional support, and let go of judgement and control.
Life unfolds in the present moment. This is where the power lies. If you would like to explore other ways to hold space and find time for you, so that you can experience increased success and live a life of your own design, please call to book a 30 minute phone session with Simone Usselman-Tod, Dynamic Visioning Coach, Certified Life Coach & Business Coach and Certified NLP Master Practitioner. Don’t forget to ask me about about my new signature program! Learn more about Dynamic Visioning